Netflix recently aired a British crime drama that moved me emotionally as a British mother to a pre-teen boy. It was created in response to the rise in knife crime in the United Kingdom, and, in particular crimes against women and young girls by those who identify as male. The BBC reported that
“Across England and Wales, excluding Greater Manchester, there were around 50,500 offences involving a sharp instrument recorded in the year ending March 2024. This was 4.4% higher than in 2022/23 and 2.8% lower than in 2019/20”— Knife Crime UK, There’s a War Going On (2025)
The writers Jack Thone and Stephan Graham wrote the drama in response largely to Incel, Red Pill, and Andrew Tate, and Kevin Samuel et al’s messages and their influence and role in the murders of Elianne Andam and Ava White, two British school girls murdered by British school boys. The questions I was left with once the final credits rolled across my screen were, who is this a message for? Or who is this a wakeup call for?
After watching the main protagonist thirteen year old Jamie Miller placed under the microscope of the Metropolitan Police and a child psychologist, following his arrest for the murder of a thirteen year old female classmate, it’s episode three that really highlights a lot with deeper analysis and honesty, viewers can see that there’s:
A message for men about where this “lonely male epidemic” and Incel ideology is leading then personally.
A caution or wake up call for women who are still interested in dating men, even if research and studies confirm that globally this is reducing significantly. There will always be a woman willing to protect men rather than protect herself and other women. It’s these women that there is a significant wake up call for.
Whether or not the young female bullied or teased Jamie, his fate and motivation to harm another female whether it was at the age of thirteen, or thirty- three would have always been there, even without bullying. Simply, because he had already been indoctrinated by these male spaces who advocate for violence against women and girls, and feel some kind of way because of “women’s liberation” and how it has clearly made it harder for them to stake a claim over a woman who may not want anything romantic with them.
Is The Manosphere, Incel, and Red Pill Ideology Backfiring on Adult Men, and Setting Young Men Up To Fail?
My theory around Jamie Miller always being destined to harm a young girl or a woman ( as he matured into adulthood) is based on his own viewpoint of women and relationships, his motivation he had for the murder of his female classmate, and his behaviour he demonstrated towards the female psychologist who assessed him.
Incel ideology as discussed in a recent report by the National Library of Medicine, state that following their research:
“A small number of studies have recruited Incels. Results from these studies highlight the nuanced nature of the Incel identity. It is also apparent that Incels suffer from high levels of romantic rejection and a greater degree of depressive and anxious symptoms, insecure attachment, fear of being single, and attachment, fear of being single, and loneliness.”— Sparks B, Zidenberg AM, Olver ME. Involuntary Celibacy: A Review of Incel Ideology and Experiences with Dating, Rejection, and Associated Mental Health and Emotional Sequelae. (2022)
Applying the report’s findings to Jamie and his own viewpoints and behaviour, if we remove the fact that he was bullied or teased by a girl, episode three of four demonstrated his Incel mentality, and Red Pill association drove him to murder a female. It was not because she teased him — it was because she rejected his advances for romance and/or a relationship.
If we look deeper and more critically at the time that Jamie Miller decided it was right to approach her about a relationship, or “hoping that she would like me” to use his words, it was after another boy had circulated topless pictures of his female victim. At this point in time according to Jamie Miller “no one liked her,” so he thought if “he liked her she would like me.” He also went on to articulate, “she was weak and in a weak position as no one liked her so I thought I had a chance.” The latter is key here, the question is: if Jamie in his view thought that the best time he would have a chance with a female sexually and romantically was when she was “in a weak position” to use his words, who else also has this viewpoint? Where did he get it from— The whole of the Manosphere could be the only answer. Whether it’s the Black or white section of it, both sides praise this “weakened state” of women being what allowed them more access to women.
When we consider where the Red Pill, Incel, and Manosphere ideology is leading men or in Jamie’s case young boys, it’s either to more loneliness or prison as per Jamie Miller, it appears their stance on the treatment of women is backfiring on them, women for sure are not providing these men with more access to them based on their ideology—they are turning away even more. Hence, we have global dips in marriage and childbirth.
Why The Manosphere and Incels Like “Women in a Weakened State”
The Manosphere have a general hatred not just for women, it’s also hate for the liberation of women. In fact, this is how and why the Manosphere and Incel sub-culture were created, as a response to women’s liberation. It’s important for women to understand these men blame their inability to attract, retain, and maintain access to certain types of women who they refer to as “modern women” due to:
Feminism
·Women’s rights
Women’s ability to provide for themselves and not need a man
Women’s overall choice to say “no thanks” to a man she does not find attractive for whatever reason
These are the four main things they attribute to why “modern women” are “not living in their true purpose,” as they like to say a lot in the Black manosphere. This demonstrates that for Incel men regardless of his race the key point in time for them when things were better for them, was when women had no rights, when they were no laws to stop abuse and rape, when women could not work, could not have a bank account, buy a home, or even say no to marriage and dating, or easily obtain a divorce.
The thing is these Incel men we see on the Internet are not old enough to have lived through this era, however they deem it when they had “better chances with women.” So, in other words, the “weakened state of women,” pre-women’s rights and liberation is their preferred era.
Jamie Miller in the crime drama Adolescence thought the same thing, in his thirteen year old articulation of this his female classmate had no right to say no to romance, no to anything that he may have wanted from her, especially when he targeted her when she was in a “weakened state,” which he described as “no one liked her, so she should have liked me.”
In conclusion it could be argued that Red Pill, Manosphere, Incel men like women in a “weakened state” as that’s when they feel we women should need, like, or want them the most, so it’s better for us to be in this state than the state statistics are showing many women have opted for to be happy, healthy, and live life not focused on connections with men.
High levels of romantic rejection, and insecure attachment styles
The research into Incel behaviour cited above found that men who are likely to be an Incel also have (insecure) attachment issues when it comes to relationships, display anxious behaviour, as well as experience high levels of romantic rejection. Looking at Jamie in episode three he showed all of this.
When the female psychologist confirmed that would be their last session, Jamie’s reaction was to freak out about being left, he repeatedly asked “do you like me?”
What this behaviour showed is his insecure and anxious attachment style, it also showed he needed the validation of being liked from a female, even if this female would never be in a position to like him the way he would like due to their massive age difference.
Jamie’s Anger and Rage Towards The Female Psychologist Is Learned Behaviour
In episode three it took the female mental health professional a while to get to the bottom of Jamie’s viewpoint on relationships, treatment of women, and what he sees as masculinity, however when she did there was a very symbolic moment. It was not what Jamie said, it was a physical action he did. When he flew into a rage and started shouting he stood above the adult female, and even had the audacity to remain towering over her as she sat down when he had finished his rant. This symbolised how he views a man’s and woman’s place in the world—him male above the female.
Even if she was at least twenty years older than him, he chose to try to exploit his gender (as a thirteen year old boy) by trying to place her in a state of fear as he stood over her, and / or it could be argued the “weakened state” Incels and Red Pill swallowers love to have women in. He demonstrated this when he said “boo” and “did I scare you?” Which highlighted he wanted to dominate and rule over a ( grown) woman with fear. The worry here is that this is a thirteen year old boy, imagine when he gets to thirty three what he would be capable of.
The Message To Males From The Series:
We are very aware of the loneliness epidemic within males, it has been well documented over the last few years, and we know that their chances in the world of dating is significantly reducing as women turn away from men and relationships with them. Is the male response ( the Incel, Manosphere, and Red Pill ideology) to their reduced chances with women producing the results males want?
Nope, it’s not— women and girls are turning away even more due to the culture they have created for themselves as men, and the violence. In addition, the response from Incel men is just causing younger boys to turn into Incels which will keep the cycle going, causing more loneliness amongst men in the future generations.
Pew Research (2024) found that, “Men are more likely than women to say they want to be parents one day.”

Our World Data confirms that globally the marriage rate is on the decline, it could be argued this is not down to women’s liberation as Incel men have perceived it, but down to the lack that men have in dating and relating to women as Psychology Today cited in their research, The Rise of The Lonely Single Men (2022)
Clearly if men want these statistics to reverse themselves, for women to actually want to date them let alone marry them, inward reflection is needed rather than violence against women. In addition, the mindset of Incel men needs a reset. If women are not choosing men or according to the Incels, “80% of women are attracted to only 20% of men” then, does that not say that 80% of men have work to do in order to be attractive to more women.
Incel ideology around violence towards women, hating “Chad” for being rich, attractive, or less socially awkward is a very irrational and illogical response to women not wanting to date or have sex with certain men. It’s also ruining the future of younger men, who may find themselves in prison for murder due to bad Incel ideology.
The Wake Up Call For Women
There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship with a man at all, a healthy one. However, for women Jamie Miller in Adolescence is the future, he is the reality for men who subscribe to Incel and Red Pill mentality, which by the looks of the statistics is a lot of men. The Netflix crime drama is therefore a wakeup call for all women actively dating, and a reality check for the women who side with their insults against women— in particular women who saw clear reasoning in messages from Kevin Samuels’ take on “modern women’s” deficits.
While we can do all we can to ensure our son’s and young male loved ones don’t fall prey to the same online indoctrination Jamie Miller did in Adolescence— we are not here to fix the male adult population, and we are certainly not here to stop defending our liberties and freedom as women as society progresses, or settle for men who “lack” as Psychology Today found by lowering personal standards we have or what we desire in a man or relationship, to stop men from being lonely.
If men want to “go their own way” as they call it, allow them. However, you can see clearly that they are unable to do this, they are either killing themselves out of depression over lack of connections with women, or killing us because we don’t want a relationship with them.
Our only duty is to look out for each other as women, and the younger women who are tomorrow’s victims of young boys like Jamie Miller in Adolescence.
·Much love,
The Black Woman Essayist
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